A Week I Will Never Forget

It has been less than 48 hours since we returned from Ethiopia.  Our tummies are still trying to figure out what the heck happened, and our sleep cycles may take awhile to return to normal.  We had a great week getting to know our girls and we feel like we started to form a bond with them.  It was hard to leave them there.  It just feels so unnatural to meet them, get to know them, bond a little, and then leave them!  Praying that time goes by quickly, and that their hearts and minds will understand that we're coming back for them!

What we saw in Ethiopia will be burned into our memories forever.  The look that one mother gave Jeremy as she came up to the window of our van is something that I will never, ever forget.  Her eyes said a thousand words.  She had a small child in one hand, and a baby on her back.  We happened to have our girls with us in the van at the time, and our middle daughter immediately grabbed our backpack and searched for food to give to this mother.  We had a gallon-sized baggie full of fruit snacks that we brought for the girls to share with their friends.  Our daughter pulled the bag out of our backpack and motioned to Jeremy to give it to this mom.  Fruit snacks??...But this mom took the bag, walked about 5 feet, threw it on the ground and began ripping the bags open with her teeth to feed her children.  I so wish that we would have had something more nutritious to share with her.  The part of this story I will never forget is how our daughter immediately reached for our backpack and wanted to share what she had with this momma who was desperate to feed her children. 

Our agency has a psychologist and a physician on staff in Ethiopia.  We were able to meet with both of them, and we were humbled to hear more about our girls' story.  The girls have been through more than any child should ever have to endure.  We are so thankful for a God who is big enough to heal hurts and fill in the empty spaces.  We pray that the girls find their identity not in their past, or future, but in their God who gives all of us the grace we need to get through this life.  My goals in this life are to love God with all of my being, and to show my 6 children the love He has lavished upon them, so that they will know Him and be called His children.  

After this past week, I think adoption is glamorized a little bit.  I don't know that people really talk about the hard parts much.  Adoption.  Is.  Hard.  It's hard for everyone involved.  The travel to another continent and back is brutal!  The emotions that everyone experiences are brutal!  Hearing about the life that your adopted child has lived, and trying to process how you're going to help them heal from that is brutal!  The fear involved is almost crippling.  I had to keep reminding myself that God didn't give me a spirit of fear, that comes from somewhere else.  I choose joy and peace.  Another adoptive mom told me that I would probably need to grieve our family as it was before I could truly open up and welcome the girls and accept our family as it is now.  It's not that I'm not excited about our family of 8, I'm just trying to process all of this.  This process HAS to be brutal for the girls.  As excited as the girls are to have a new family, this has to be so incredibly hard on them.

We were excited to go to Ethiopia to meet our girls, and that was a blessing.  What we didn't expect was to meet some of the most amazing people on the planet while we were there.  Our agency alone had about 28 families in country last week.  This meant that not all of us could be housed in their guest house.  We, along with several other families, were housed in a "hotel" in Addis Ababa.  It was an adventure that I'm sure none of us will ever forget!  Who knew that God would call us to Ethiopia and then allow us to meet these amazing families!?!?  Jeremy and I keep talking about how blessed we were to be able to bond with all of them!  We cannot imagine the trip without these amazing people.  God is good all the time.  He orchestrates every detail!

Eighteen Months and Counting

Remember when I told you that our Family Coordinator told us to prepare financially for a referral at 10 months, and to prepare our hearts to wait as long as 18 months?  Well, yesterday was 18 months.  I think we'd better prepare our hearts for at least 24 months...maybe 30 or more.

We're #4 on the list, but things aren't really moving right now.  There are some families completing their process, so maybe there will be some referrals soon!  When we decided to adopt, we never dreamed that it would take this long.  All we can do is be patient!

We just wanted to give you a little update.  There's really no news.  :(  We're trusting in God's timing!  That's all we can do!

Still Waiting...

I feel like I need to at least tell you all that we are still adopting, and obviously, still waiting.  It's been 2 years since our family decided to adopt (so hard to believe), and 16 months since we sent our Dossier (a bunch of paperwork that took us 9 months to put together) to Ethiopia.  We've updated our home study once (because IL makes you update it yearly), and I'm guessing we'll start that process again in March (for the 3rd time).  Life has been extremely busy, so our minds have been busy, too.  I check lists and blogs and waiting children's lists daily.  We're still #5 on the unofficial list, approved for siblings, ages birth to 9 years.  I suppose we'll have to talk and pray about whether or not we're going to increase our age range again.

Things are really slow in Ethiopia right now, but it's for good reason.  I know that the ET govt is working hard to make sure that every adoption is ethical, and we appreciate that so much.  (It's still hard to think about the fact that there are kids living in orphanages when there are families ready to welcome them into their homes.)  We just have to keep believing that everyone is acting in their best interest.

If you have questions, don't feel bad asking.  It's hard to wait, but it's so not about us.  We've been blessed with three boys who keep us very busy, and we're excited to welcome two more kiddos into our family, but we're waiting patiently for the right time!

Yes, We Are Still Adopting...

We never dreamed that it would take this long for a referral when we decided to adopt.  Lately we've been getting the questions, "What's taking so long?" and "Are you still adopting?"  Yes, we are still adopting, and the reason it's taking so long is out of our hands.  We are trying to wait patiently.  It's been 10 months since we sent our paperwork to ET, and 18 months since we decided to adopt.  Yikes!

We did recently update our home study, because it's been a year since our first home study was written.  We changed our age range (from birth to 6 years) to birth to 9 years, 10 at the time of placement.  We're hoping this will move things along.  Of course the State of IL has to approve this change.  Our home study should be sitting on an important desk right now, waiting for approval.  We hope to hear back in the next week or two.

Thank you all for asking about things.  I wish we had more to tell.  Someday we will, but for now, this is all I've got.  :)

Another Mother's Day

I'm so thankful for my three boys.  They are all three such amazing individuals.

I love Noah for his incredible ability to always have all of his ducks in a row.  :)  I don't know where he gets that....ahem.  He is smart, smart, smart.  He has a heart of gold, and would do anything, for anybody, anytime.  He has to parent me more than I have to parent him.  Noah will do some amazing things in this world, he is truly a gift.

Colin, oh Colin.  He makes me smile just thinking about him.  He has a heart big enough to love everyone in his path, and he does.  He is joy in flesh, and brings light and life to every room he enters.  He is mister go-with-the-flow, and his one-liners kill me.  Colin will do great things, and make an amazing husband someday...the boy can cook!

Jeron...this kid is hilarious.  I think he came into the world with the intention of being a goofball.  He peed all over the nurses as they were weighing him in the delivery room.  Jeron is the kind of guy who will make the most inappropriate comment, and then give all of his money away to someone begging on the street.  He's the perfect mix of compassion and entertainment.  He has a love for the broken that blows my mind.  He is without a doubt, the most generous human I know.

The fact that these three boys have Jeremy as their dad is a huge part of why they are the way they are.  When I watch Jerm with our boys, and with other people's kids, I can't believe how much he loves them.  Something happens to him when there are little kids around...he has a knack for winning over every kid who comes his way.  What I love the most about him is that his heart turns into a big 'ole pile of mush when he feels like there is injustice in a child's world.  I am blessed.

This was a great Mother's Day.  All three of my guys spoiled me, and treated me like a queen.  I shouldn't ask for more, but I can't help thinking about the two little loves who are missing from our family.  This is the second Mother's Day since we decided to adopt.  It's been a little bit of an emotional day for me.  I'm hoping that next year we'll be a family of 7, but there are no guarantees.

There isn't much to say about our adoption at this point.  I posted awhile back that we were #8 on the waiting list, but we've been moved back down to #9.  It's discouraging to say the least, but we will just have to continue to wait.  God knows what He's doing!  We did recently receive an email from our agency stating that the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's, Children's and Youth Affairs is still committed to advocating for ET orphans.  This is a good thing!  It sounds like things are changing constantly in Ethiopia as far as adoption goes, but they are good changes.

We're thankful to all of you who ask about how things are going.  We just wish we had more to tell you!  Someday we'll look back, and it will seem like time has flown by.  In the meantime, we'll continue to pray for all 5 of our kids, that they'll be safe, healthy, and strong, and that they'll follow Jesus all the days of their lives!

Happy Mother's Day!

Quick Update

We don't have much to tell you at this point, just a couple of things.

First, we are very excited to have received the Show Hope Grant! It took forever to fill out the application, but it was worth it! They will send $4500 to our agency! Woo hoo!

The only other bit of news is that our agency sent out an email last week explaining that they were extending the wait times. So, we continue to wait. We know that some day we'll look back and see that the timing was perfect!

Thanks for asking about our progress. We wish we had more to report, but for now, this is all we've got!

Just a Quick Update

A lot of people have asked where we stand in the process, so I thought I'd write a quick note to tell you what we know.  It's so hard to wait, but Jerm keeps reminding me that it's not about us.  Well, maybe it's not about him, but it's definitely about me.  I'm TOTALLY kidding!!  We've talked a lot lately about a mom's heart, and how men can never fully understand what a mom feels for her children.  I truly feel like it's just something God placed in women.

As I've mentioned before, I know that the best thing for our adopted children would be to remain with their biological family, but sometimes that just can't happen.  So, knowing that there are two sweet babies in Africa who need a mommy, hurts my heart.  I can't wait to have them in our home so that we can love them, and give them a chance to have a life outside of growing up in an orphanage, or living on the streets in Addis Ababa.  (Cue Jerm:  "It's not about us, be patient.")

I've never really been the kind of person who needs a plan.  I usually just go with the flow.  Though I feel like with this adoption, I've kind of felt like I needed to know the plan.  So, a week or so ago, I emailed our Family Coordinator at America World (our agency).  It went a little something like this:

"Hi Jennifer,

Is there any way you can give us an idea of how long you think we'll wait for a referral?  The listed wait times are for infants only, right?  

We just noticed that there were a few that changed their requests, and moved over to the siblings list (based on the Yahoo group list).  We wondered if there was a ballpark estimate of how long it could take.

Thank you!

Jeremy and Kami"




"Jeremy and Kami,

Thank you for checking in about this. The wait times are based on infant referrals, yes, but because of the changes in the process in Ethiopia this year, we are encouraging families to set their expectations for the same timeframe as infants, which is currently 10-16 months for males and 11-18 months for females. 

Because we don't have a good trend on which to estimate a timeframe for siblings, it is difficult to give a ballpark estimate for your wait time. I would encourage you to set your heart's expectation to be closer to 18 months, but to plan financially for a referral as soon as ten months. 

If we see that the wait times are changing, I will be sure to let you know. 

Have a great evening!

Jennifer Allen | Family Coordinator
America World Adoption"


So, 10-18 months from October 21, 2011, we should have a referral for the two children who will join our family.  That seems like an eternity, but I know God has it all worked out, and after all, it's not about us.  ;)  I'm hoping we have a referral by Christmas.  I'll just keep crossing the months off of the calendar.  Two down, sixteen to go!


In the meantime, we're enjoying every second with the three beautiful boys God has entrusted to us already.  They are such great kids, and they're growing so fast.  We are beyond blessed, and thankful for all of you who have shown us so much support.  


God is so good...He's so good to me!